My drowning heart

by Soraya Natascha
(Amsterdam)

I just want to hold you close

I just want to hold you close

My heart is full
Can hardly breath
You’re taking over my child
This love a saved for you in my heart
Left me empty handed
Left me with missing you
Your tiny beating heart
I saw it
Beating so strong
It was so beautiful
Never even noticed it stopped
Were you fighting
Were you hurting
Waiting for me to help you
For your mother to rescue you
And I didn’t even know
I am so sorry
I didn’t even know
To small to be strong on your own
Even in you short life
Already alone
Fighting your own fight
To fragile to win
You were alive
I saw it
My baby
My child
A very small version
But very much alive
What I would give to bring you back
When you come back
I promise you
When you return
You will never ever have to feel alone again
I will be there
With you
Every step of the way
I will fight your fights with you
You don’t have to fight alone
You might not need to fight at all
Life will be better
I promise
In ways I can’t even imagine
But we’ll be there
Together
And I will tell you
That I love you
That I never ever forgotten about you
That you are wanted and loved
For so long already
While your life is just beginning
There is a lifetime of love waiting to give to you
You were here before
And every day since
I loved you
And not a day went by
I didn’t miss you
When you return
It’ll all be worth it
The hurt
The fight
The waiting
The longing
To hold you
That’s all I want
I just want to hold you close

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